Told the wife what happened last night... she was at home the whole time, but I just wasn't talking and she left me to it allowing me space.

She's said that I should call the crisis team when it gets that bad... don't know if I should though, told her I'd be worried about the impact on work, that I could lose my job etc etc, to which she replied that for them to do that would be grounds for unfair dismissal... meh, dunno.

Went to archery and it was actually quite thereputic... no talking necessary, just targeting practice.

Trying to not let my mind wander too much right now... got a 'social' thing to go to tonight, kind of dreading it.