Well hello Gordon, I havent seen anyone write anything but im only 18....i hope you dont mind me responding...but i thought it wouldnt hurt to give a suggestion? If i do offend you or you dont want my advice please say so and i will apologize fully for that was never my intention....
Ok so the advice? Your not really clear in your above statement however..im guessing from your title your having different desires than your partner and its kinda conflicting? How about going to a book store and buying a book of different ideas on how to "do it" that seems interesting to both of you. What about romancing first? Its not always about physical...maybe make your partner a nice meal? With the works? Start romancing...write notes near the bed so they can see it....or call them randomly...this will get the "mood" started...and if you have differences..why not do it each others way...and maybe meet a middle. Communication is key..obviously...why not a nice long sit down chat about what both of you want and how to intergrate it into the system you have? Doing nice things for each other every day or alittle more than ..once in awhile...can go along way and make the road alittle less bumpy for differences in the bedroom. Take it one step further with communication..not only sit down and chat with them...but perhaps ask while in the middle of it? I hope i am alittle on to what you are looking for ..if not i guess i just made myself look really stupid trying to help you lol. Its all about trying to make each other happy and yourselves happy and complete satisfaction all around. Dont be afraid to try their desires...and allow them to participate in yours. Dont think of differences as a bad thing..think of it as a way to expand both of your horizons. Now if your feeling negative thoughts and it is severly desturbing your ways and your relationship..id suggest a sex therapist....after you talk to each other about your feelings...Try to first settle it yourselves because it may be as simple as what i mentioned above, if that doesnt work and your both still not happy then pay to see a sex therapist..or even a regualar couples therapist....it might help....Hope i remotely helped you. Good luck and keep us posted. Inny