Quote:
Originally Posted by watino
You raise a valid point.
I tried to control myself but couldn't and also it was intimidation.
I saw no other way. She had been unjust. She admitted the mistake "I have been blind, sorry we didn't understand each other, etc." but somehow it wasn't enough for me. I felt I deserved a bigger apology.
I was damaged and felt powerless in an unjust situation and defenceless. I displayed my "will to act if provoked" to make a point: you don't get to screw up and harm me.
I used this method reluctantly but thought it was necessary.
Clearly the consequences were undesirable for me and her alike.
Please suggest alternative ways, I would like to learn.
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You're very articulate. But your posts are also filled with justifications for your choice of intimidation through violence. This is a very common pattern among men who abuse women. And yes, you've said you'd never hurt anyone, but your actions fit a pattern that usually escalates over time.
I think it's a leap to decide the T behaved unethically: the OP said he was contacted 3 days after his session telling him that the T would not be meeting with him. I'm not clear when it is that she didn't show up for an appointment: was there an appointment scheduled between the time of the incident and the call 3 days later? If so, what happened? Was no one there? Was there an office manager who told him his T wasn't around? Is this at a clinic or a sole practitioner office?
As far as a referral, I'm not sure what the ethics really are in such a case. I could envision reasons why it might not be advisable, therapeutically or legally, for a T in such a case to give a referral. Or it could also be that the T has been/is looking for an appropriate referral. I know in my area, Ts with experience in these issues are usually solidly booked with cases referred through the courts. How much time has passed since the OP was notified? Has he asked for a referral?