Yes. This is one of the least judgemental places you will find. These are good people here. This is a place you can say all the crazy **** in your head and know that everybody understands. Stick around here. See some professionals. You sound a lot like I did when I first realized something was wrong and reached out to a therapist who sent me to a psychiatrist pretty quick. But I did not really get that it was Bipolar. It was a hellish hellish time.

but

it can take awhile sometimes to get a psychiatrist app so if it is possible you might want to make an appointment with one.

You're safe here. Keep sharing. Welcome to our world.