I used to get physically violent with boyfriends...I would just fly into a rage when I felt out of control and couldn't help myself. I remember this as a child too (my preschool even taped mittens to my hands everyday because I was biting and scratching everyone!). I always feel REALLY embarrassed now after a tantrum because I do act like a child, which is otherwise completely out of character - I almost always end up in a heap on the floor or locked in some closet.

Actually the person I've been with the past 2 yrs. is the first person I have never been violent towards, and I think it has to do with the fact that I know he was abused as a child...I don't know exactly how/why but somehow that stops me, even though I felt I couldn't control it before. I'm also known as being very outgoing, fun-loving, and caring in general - if only people were witness to me in these dark moments!

What tends to set me off if I'm already on edge is invasion of personal space or feeling out of control, like when plans are suddenly changed (requiring me to interact with people when I don't feel like it), or when something doesn't work/goes wrong with whatever I'm doing or if someone can't keep up/won't "get on board" with me