My parents also sent me to college. My older brother works in finance and makes a bundle and has a family and is basically the "perfect" son. I am the ****-up son who failed. My parents paid for me to go to college but I got a useless psychology degree (basically useless without graduate work at least in the USA) and now I just scrape by. They gave me everything I needed to succeed and I know they care about me and worry about me but I just don't seem to go anywhere. In college I even would skip discussion classes and speeches because I was too afraid to get up in front of the class (pathetic considering I had it handed to me and I couldn't even get through a presentation or two...).

Funny that you mention the organ donation thing... I have looked into (online, not really taken steps) donating one of my kidneys to someone who isn't a waste of space so maybe I could help someone who might accomplish something (but I drink too much so I probably need it I guess plus people would think I was crazy for doing it - not sure if I would pass the psych evaluations they might require for me to go through with "altruistic" kidney donation, which is almost unheard of as far as I can tell). I think they would end up deciding I was crazy for wanting to do it and make me get treatment...

I respect you a lot just for having the thought of donating your organs. I think it means that you are a good person because you think that way. Sometimes I wish I would be put in a situation where I could sacrifice my life for a child or other innocent person - like I would want to push a scared woman from the train tracks while a train was barreling down and sacrifice my life for her because my life isn't worth much and I would want to sacrifice it to save someone who is a functional person who would make the world a better place.

Maybe you can use that desire to help others... like start volunteering and helping neglected children or something like that. Or if you are more comfortable at your computer than in "real life" (like me) you could teach yourself HTML and donate your time helping charities maintain their website or something. Even just a part-time volunteering thing at a local hospital/homeless shelter/food bank/whatever could really help people and also get you off your computer and doing something that makes you feel good about yourself.

I also thank you kindly for reading this rambling response - I feel that way about a lot of my posts here. I do have a lot of escapist addictions but I don't think I am an internet addict (I'm more of a beer and cigarette addict with an small internet problem, haha).

Take care man... maybe you can talk to a doctor and get a prescription for an anti-depressant. It might really help you be more willing to face the world instead of hiding out from life... I have bad social anxiety and paxil/paroxetine has really helped me be more capable of facing life and not always wanting to hide from it.

I know that being an only child could add pressure onto it for you but at least you don't have a "super-perfect" brother that you have to compare yourself to like me

Blah blah blah, what a rambling post. If you ever feel like talking or ranting to someone you can always PM me. Take care and I hope you can break out of your internet addiction a little bit and start facing the world even though it's tough for people like us...