Most days, my meds work. Some days, they don't. Like today. I barely have the energy to get up and change into my pajamas. I lay in bed, imagining euthanization. I call it my black hole. I'm getting sucked into it again. Its like I'm wearing heavy chains and carrying the world, like Atlas. My chest physically hurts. I'm tired but can't sleep. Yet I have no reason to be sad. Does anyone understand?