Thanks both for your responses! I hadn't thought of the aspergers-esque traits...I did look up alexithymia, which I'd never heard of before, and 50% of the characteristics are right on and the other 50% totally off (the 'constricted imaginal processes' and 'externally oriented cognitive style' don't fit her at all).

I really appreciate your taking time to read this...even writing it out I think helped me pause and consider how she might feel on a daily basis (as I'm always on my own rollercoaster sometimes I forget to think about others...)

noewheretohide, sorry to hear you had some chills in your childhood also...