Hi, octoberpumpkin, and welcome to Psych Central! I have a suggestion for you: Go to see a therapist if you aren't already. I can tell you are dealing with a lot and that's the best way to get back on track. Many of us see therapists and find them very helpful.

And please don't scoff at possibly taking an antidepressant to help you get going, too. Many of us here do that as well.

Okay?