Quote:
Originally Posted by watino
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- this is why the mistake happened
- this is how we're going to repair the damage
- this is what we'll do to avoid it from happening again
So I gave her a week to gather her thoughts. Then I wanted to know if her actions constitute malpractice. To know if I should continue with her or not. I pay for this myself after all. She refused to answer because "it would prevent you from speaking about your feelings" - so manipulative!
Thus I asked politely, then demanded, that she lets me know what her supervisor thinks of this. She avoided the question, for 10 minutes, in different ways.
So I lost my temper. I needed to know: is it safe for me to continue with her or not?
So I got mad. I yelled "will you tell me or not ?!" , half stood up, and punched the table.
Now kindly someone tell me who I should blame here, and I'll accept the situation and work on it, but can't until I know.
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The blame, or the responsibility? Sounds like you wanted to shoot the messenger.
I totally understand about "depend" being a bad word. I had the same paradigm shift around the word "deserve" - i could never use it in the sense that i deserved something good, only that i didnt deserve the treatment i was getting. But it took a sentence-completion exercise in DBT group to make me aware of that.
Your therapy, in terms of your awareness of matters, seems to be progressing just fine. But in terms of attachment and relationships, not so much. You WERE deprived and abused, and that still colors your world view. A therapist can help you overcome that; help you cut out bad processing and put in good processing, but its not brain surgery, its a two-person team effort.
Maybe we're some weird subset - intellectually gifted but emotionally stunted. My t keeps saying, most parents would have liked a kid who did well in school. Not mine.