Hi october, it's good that you're meeting up with a therapist well done on having put a priority on your well-being, it matters!! I don't know whether it would be an option where you're from but sometimes therapy can be accessed according to a sliding scale of income making it more affordable.
But if that's not an option then maybe ask the therapist to give you quite a few things to work on in between sessions. You'll be unlikely to do them all, but then at least you can pick from them the things that you might find easiest to work on in between times and give them your real attention.
As for your boyfriend, maybe try to make him understand that he doesn't need to keep trying to make you "happy". Afterall "happy" might take time and plenty of help/support to completely internalize that. But if he could understand, be there for you, ease things a bit, offer you support.........then that would be what you really need right now, wouldn't it??? Focusing too much on "happy" right now, has to be a bit pressurizing for both of you do you think?? One step at a time maybe???
And feeling "normal", well just because you're having problems right now doesn't mean that things can't get easier for you in time. Everything (even the tiniest thing) you can do towards feeling just a fraction closer to where you want to be really does count. So smaller goals, maybe??
And those people who don't understand how hard it is for you, what a struggle some things are for you, probably haven't been where you are or probably just don't "get" what you're experiencing. If it's an option maybe explain to them a little more, but otherwise make sure you congratulate yourself on your strength in making it through..........And now you're here let us genuinely congratulate you on that too!!!
Alison