I recently had a great session with my T. We were sitting there, with absolutely nothing to talk about, and I brought up, “So why am I sitting here? I’m happy, problems mostly solved.” So he brought up the transference thing. We have discussed this in the past, but this time, he was bringing it to the table.

Thanks to PsychCentral, and all of the other books and internet articles, I was able to say, “Ok, I know. I’m looking to you as my mother figure (even though he is male, weird). I get comfort and safety from you, and it is all encompassing. I am attached and ready to detach. Help me with this!” And he, of course said, this is normal and good, and he did not like the detach statement and this is where the conversation drifted off into something else entirely.

I must say this transference has been really difficult at times. It slowly crept up on me, then plagued me for a long period of time, and now I am settling and learning it’s not so bad. It’s nice to have someone there for me. This support helps me every day when I am feeling weak or scared, I can think about T and our discussions and I get comfort. When I’m really scared, I imagine him there next to me and I pull through.

I have grown a lot and learned to stick to the boundaries. At times, I wish I could call him or email him in between sessions, but I know it will screw up the chemistry of our relationship, so I find the strength to hold off and discuss my thoughts with my husband and friends. It’s not nearly the same, but helps.

The hard part is someday I will have to let go. I am a strong person, but I know the misery I will feel for a very long time when I do. I know he will not be my friend, and when we say our final goodbyes, it will be for good. And like so many others on this forum, I will not stop thinking about him for a VERY LONG TIME, so I hang on until he says it’s time to go. Ooohhh… I dread that day!