I would call it being passively suicidal. I don't think being "passively suicidal" is an actual term though. But I certainly know how you feel. For me it's this level of apathy that I reach when I don't care if I die but I wouldn't do anything to prevent it. In a way it feels like it isn't really suicide because if you die because you didn't do anything to stop it, then it can always be blamed on that outside force. I did this, and I refused to think of it as an actual attempt for years afterward.

For your sake, I hope that you tell your doctor at your next appointment.