Yes, of course I am getting out a lot of writing every day! Why would I do it if not because it helps me, because it makes me feel connected, because it makes me feel just a tiny bit important, because it's a challenge I want stick to each day even when I don't feel like it?
And it also helps me to update a lot of people at once instead of responding to many individual emails which would wear me out.
And of course I do it so I don't feel alone, so people are with me, if only in spirit. It has a lot of very selfish reasons.
And I am so not ashamed of it AT ALL.
When is it more understandable that I need people with me in life than right now? When is it more okay to want love and empathy and support than right now?

But writing this every day also has a lot of unselfish reasons. If my writing helps someone, then that is great. If it makes someone think, that is great too. The emails have connected people, built new friendships, new support systems, new hope for some, new challenges for some. It has brought someone out of a deep depression, it has helped another one to find the courage to address an issue she avoided for years.

Whatever it's good for, either for me or for someone else - I will keep writing because I like to do it And I am going to soak in all the good things that come from it.

PS: These letters here are originally emails I write to a group of friends all over the world. It helps them to know how I am doing and it helps me to know they are there. I share them here because it is easier than responding to too many messages or having people ask other friends on here whether I am ok.

Amelia