Dear Tired,
I understand. I came to this site to help digest the life and death of my BPD and probably bipolar sister. Life in our family revolved around Susan's moods which I know you
understand all too well. I live away from the family which helped but still had to deal with her abusive tirades against anyone who told her what she didn't want to hear which was the truth. She was an extreme case and meaner than a junkyard dog most of the time. The sweet little sister I knew came out very seldom. Your decision to move was a good one. However, now you will be forced to do one of two things. You'll either have to continue living on pins and needles everytime your Dad visits which I suspect will be
more and more often, or you're going to have to risk losing his support and basically lose the relationship by setting boundaries he won't accept. it seems (i could be wrong of course) that he's also an extreme personality who will push you to the edge of sanity if you let him. I think eventually you'll find you might have to break from the relationship...I hope not but my experience tells me he won't accept healthy boundaries or counseling to understand why you need to set them. Being faced with both the loss of financial support and relationship with your father is tough but for your own peace of mind, you may need to take that step. Just a final thought about your Mother. I think it would be easier for you if you knew exactly what your Father did to make your Mother leave. Wondering about it only makes it worse....you can deal with the reality, you've been doing it for years.
Take good care of yourself and listen to that voice inside you that tells you not to be alone with him, no matter how
he guilts you. You are one, smart young woman who deserves a wonderful life!
Annie