Hi Cjj6, I'm really sorry you were let down so badly by him. And it must be really painful right now, but you do know you've done the right thing don't you?
Now however hard it is right now (and I'm sure it's very hard) it has only just happened. I know it might not be a lot of comfort, but time can make all the difference in how you're feeling.
And maybe you're still feeling some love for him (doesn't always switch off just like that despite....), shock, loss, frustration, despair, abandoned, isolated..........but you are right......you do deserve so much better, so just keep holding onto that regardless.
And with time it will get easier, if it'll help to cry, talk to someone, find things to distract you, focus attention on your son........whatever works for you, just try to focus on you and getting through this to a better place.
And whatever happens with him, even if he tries to talk to you, well you know he really isn't worth it/worth your attention/worth your pain/worth risking a life/happiness you're entitled to for, don't you? It is his loss at the end of the day, you gave it your all/gave him a chance didn't you, but...................
And if you're finding it hard we're right here for you, you're not on your own in getting through/past this. You can do it!!!
Alison