It's been over a year since my traumatic event.. And I finally let myself near boys again. And I met the nicest, sweetest, Godliest, most caring guy I've ever talked to in my life. And I started to like him a lot. So we started talking more and eventually I fell head over heels for this boy. Anyway... I'm literally IN LOVE with him and he is just a friend but we somehow got into this friends with benefits situation and so I stopped that right after it happened. (Not really fwb cuz we didn't do IT) but stupid little me decided to tell him how I really felt and he said he is too young to love anyone. And my heart literally broke in half. I cried and cried and I did something I shouldn't have to try to make myself feel better.

But I feel like I just repeated the entire relationship I had before my Abuser really got physically and sexually abusive. It started just like this. He was kind and I fell for it. I let him know everything about me and then he hurt me.

Now I'm terrified of this new boy and I'm seeing my abuser everywhere. In my bedroom. In my bathroom. At school. EVERYWHERE. He is following me in my head and I'm terrified. I can feel him attacking me when I sleep.

I'm just so scared of men.
I need help. Please