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I am so sorry you feel so alone. I know everybody says they are there for you but I can understand why you feel that way. The reality is that while we are all here to share in your journey and learn from all your wisdom and compassion the reality is this is YOUR journey and this is something that is only happening to you. Most people don't know how to deal with death (I am one of them) and unfortunately, you have no choice.

If you feel like being angry and venting we are here for that as well. Even if we feel uncomfortable oh well. Part of being there for somebody mean being there in the good times and bad. It isn't about only hearing about the good and funny things. If people think that makes you self absorbed oh well for them.