Call Texas 211. I got through this time and got some names of places. I just have to figure out where they are and how I am going to get there...and have the strength or the ambition to do them. Still going to the library and maybe they will help with some place close by as I have no sense of direction and where about in this new state. I guess, it best I keep concentrating on doing this than just talking/writing about it and saying that there is no way for me to do anything.

I'm going to try this Authentic Happiness project. I learned something interesting that being happy and depressed are not on the opposite scale of each other. Now I see them as 2 separate things. I guess, it helps me to see that getting rid of depression won't cause me to be happy and that happiness is separate and on it's own. So I see now that if I get a sense of happiness that depression won't go away and that it will always be there and maybe I won't be thinking too much about it because if I up the level of happiness, I would be thinking more about that. Well, I hope I got it right and maybe I can live with depression then. Because when I think about it, there were times that I was happy and that there were times when there were more of happy moments that I didn't think or dwell so much on depression. This time around in my life, there haven't been much of happiness happening so all I think about was the bad circumstances.

My spiritual search which made me see the good little moments may have helped me keep myself together these past few years. Before that I really didn't notice the beauty of the flowers or the way that people really enjoy their food. I am surprised that people are very happy with the food they eat. I never got the pleasure that they seem to have. Now, I'm trying hard to see what food I like and what kind of pleasure that I get out of them.