((((jefftele))))
I think I know what you are talking about. I definitely feel a lot of fear associated with getting well and returning to the "world." It seems like I pulled myself together at least 5 times in the last 20 years although throughout that time, was most of the time suffering with mild depression at best and frequently severe depression. The last time I kept it together for 8 years, if my coping can even be called that. But every time after I seemed to get back to what I would consider a more normal life, sooner or later it would fall apart.
I don't have any great ideas. I guess for me this is what they mean when they say change involves pain, And in my case staying where I am involves pain. Probably right now I am more comfortable or familiar with depression than the unknown and that makes it hard to get well. I guess I want some kind of guarantee that things will be better, or I just cannot go out there again. Okay I think I will stop rambling now.

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