Amelia...
We haven't "met" yet, but I have been reading and following your journey.
I, for one, am honored that you are willing to share your story with perfect strangers - that takes a huge amount of courage and strength, and I appreciate what a risk it might feel like sometimes (being that this is my first post and I've been a lurker for a REALLY long time!)
Do what makes you feel good and know that taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do for YOU!
Always in my prayers...
PPP