I really have no hopes and goals or they got crushed right away. I guess, when I first came here, I thought I would be able to work in the creative field again with my friend. But doing the work, I realize that I'm not capable as I used to be. My designs are no good. I'm feeling crushed that I can't help out as much.

My goal was just to get out of a bad situation I was in before. Although I knew that Texas didn't provide medicaid for women over 42 and that I would have a hard time moving around freely, I thought I had a better chance of getting back into my field. I figure what happened in the other state where medicaid was taken from me suddenly that maybe god didn't want me to be on medication anymore. I was crushed and I tried to make the best of my situation.

I guess, those people who told me I wasn't thinking rational were right. I came here with hopes that things would work out somehow. I spend the last money I had and with few that friends gave me to come over here. So now I am here and I need to make the best of it. I know I'm being a bad sort of complaining about things, but I just can't seem to figure it out.

This really is my last chance to move forward.

So since being on this forum, my goal is to get over my depression or get a grip on happiness for whatever might happen. I would like to be happy no matter what is happening with me. I figure that is the best way to handle things from now on. I don't know if I am doing the right thing, but that's what I'm coming up with so far.