It is totally OK, right, and a good thing for YOU to take care of YOU in any way you possibly can.

ASK FOR HELP! Your posts are filled with things like "I talked to the lady there, but didn't ask her about free services", things like that. ASK!

I understand, and I understand your fears. And it's really, really lousy feeling so afraid. One of the ways you can feel better is to do whatever it is you CAN do to improve things for yourself.

Call or go to whatever benefits place there is, and ask for help. Ask at a church. Maybe you can tell the people you are staying with how hard it is to ask for help, and ask them to help you ask.

Anything! It's so good you've come to these forums to share and get ideas, but we can't do the legwork. You have to help us help you.

I know this stuff because I do the same thing you are doing... I just sit and worry, but action is really, really hard. I think I am so afraid of a negative answer that I don't ask. My brain knows, "Well, if you don't ask, that's the same as a no", and eventually I get going.

All said in love. Take care of yourself. You matter.