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I was so happy when I could actually feel my ribs, and I actually enjoyed experiencing the repercussions(passed out a few times, abnormal heart beat, feeling sick when I ate food. etc.).
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Just curious....what was it that you enjoyed about experiencing the repercussions?
I know that sometimes we are in a place in our life where we feel like no one loves or cares for us & to be honest.....it did feel good to have someone care about me when I got sick. I had gone through a horrible trauma & my mother was dying of cancer & no one would listen to or help me deal with all the horrible issues that were a part of my life.....but they would care about me when I passed out from not eating.....or when I landed in the medical hospital for several months trying to get stable.
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She knows about my depression but she keeps saying these things, which fuels both the depression and anorexia. I feel compelled to stop eating because I just feel so stupid, useless, and worthless.
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Interesting how we know someone like your mother is being so STUPID about it in relating to you.....& yet you choose to listen to those stupid comments & take them in as how you feel about yourself......the human mind works in strange ways sometimes. I know personally I would do things just to spite the person saying them.....it was like.....ok....if that's what you say & want....that's what you are going to get (sticks tongue out at them....then quite eating).
Life is never easy even when we don't have these obstacles to deal with