I'm not one to give advice, as I have limited experience in doing so, but when I read this I didn't even blink when you mentioned the "horrible" thing(s) you had done. Everyone has regrets, and almost always they blow them way out of proportion. You were a kid, so its not pedophilia.

Kids are naturally curious. I did some 'weird' things when I was young, that are so embarrassing its kinda funny in a way. But I realized, that I didn't know it was wrong, and had no evil intentions, therefore I can forgive myself. Even if I chose to dwell on it, it would only make my life unnecessarily harder. But I think thats kinda the catch with OCD; even if you REALIZE its pointless or untrue, sometimes you can't control it.

The really best thing you can and should do, I think, is try to move on from it. I realize this is probably easier said than done, but coming from a stranger, I can tell that you are no freak, or any other bad thing you might be thinking you are, because of this experience. The fact that you regret and are very worried about it, shows in fact how sane you are! haha.

Its normal. Please know that I do not judge you AT ALL for anything as silly and distant in the past as that. I realize it might seem a lot more significant to you, as I said before, I have experience a similar issue in the past. But finally, I forgave myself. I feel normal, in that aspect, again.

Hope I helped you in any way. Like I said, I'm not very eloquent so I feel anxiety even on message boards like this. I tend to lurk, usually.

BTW I have OCD, obsessive and intrusive thoughts galore. My meds help keep them semi-tolerable.

If you are open to that as an option, I find it can be helpful.

Take care.