Why would you have to pay him when you go on vacation? It sounds like he'll have months of notice.

I get that you feel vulnerable and hate it. I have definitely felt the same way. Ten weeks is brutal.

Jut wanna add here that you're also allowed to resent him on an emotional level for leaving without immediately rationalizing at an intellectual level that he's entitled to a holiday. You're entitled to your less mature, less attractive fears and feelings. You can hate him for abandoning you! You're allowed to have feelings that are not entirely congruent with what your smart, rational, adult mind knows.