Took a small walk to clear my head after posting this… sometimes a bit scared and anxious when I actually tell others about the thoughts rattling about in my mind.

Brought a big question up though – would this just be the product of anger? A big f you at those who ram their bigoted views down our throats on depression and their disgust at thoughts of and certainly committing to suicide.

Meh, I don’t know.

What I do know... and perhaps others here share this... is how much of what we think and feel is not spoken... that we know that others just wouldn't understand, would try to reason with us... and we have to just nod and smile, say they are right just to make them feel they've achieved something, give them peace of mind... all the while internalising how close we are to falling into some metaphorical abyss.