Hey TJ, you know I think you're more on the money than you realize with your idea to write about this. The whole reason why we as humans have still not been able to master an understanding of not just suicide, but any truly challenging problems, is because nobody wants to make a concerted effort to discuss these so-deemed taboos. Everybody says suicide is bad, and a permanent solution to a temporary problem, blah, blah, blah... all spoken by people who've never been depressed. We (the depressed) know that there are so many more dimensions to suicide than they will ever know. It's not just about killing yourself, that is merely a climax and manifestation of a lifelong of misery and feeling worthlessness, being rejected by others, etc., etc. When you flick a switch and a light comes on, that's the end product we see, but we know that 95% of what has led to that light coming on is not located in that act itself. There's the power station, substation, grid, power lines, mains cables, mains box in your house, the utility bill to pay, and finally, at the end, you can flick the switch. People on the outside only see the act of suicide, and then focus on that, you know, "Why?", "How?", "What did we do wrong?". There's so much more to it than that. I think people who are depressed have been given a glimpse into a side of life that nobody else will ever see. Maybe this is what hell would be like, I don't know.

So, I think you've got a good idea . Who knows, you might break ground and usher in a whole new field of human psychology all together. This is how new stuff is born, somebody challenging the norms or the things that nobody wants to talk about. We often in our society today try to be too objective and much of the discussion falls by the wayside. When you push someone hard enough, or even make them seething with anger at your ignorance, they often blurt out the truth, which is very different from what the entire world was expecting. This wanting to not hurt people's feelings stuff is what is stopping the world from challenging its major problems. Stuff like racism, homosexuality, transgenderism, religion, suicide, depression. These things are very real and affect millions of people, but we choose not to discuss it. It challenges people too much. And, it proves another thing - these so-called happy people who run the world and tell depressed people like us what to do, don't know all the answers, they are essentially just as stupid as anybody else would be. If they knew everything, then why is the world still such a mess?

I know in my country, racism is another major "sore" topic that nobody wants to talk about. I'm going to say it, not that I want to stir anything up here, but it is the norm nowadays that white people are designated the big racists of the world, past and present, and that people of colour are the one's suffering. But, that "rule" is so old and obsolete already. There are some black people for example that are so much more racialistic than any white person would ever be. I mean if you say are a black person, and you keep harping on the fact that some white guy is racist, and that white people did this and that to your people, aren't you giving the concept of race a lot of credit in your argument? Doesn't that make you a racist too? And, I know that nobody wants to talk about it, but why are interracial relationships being pushed so much nowadays? It's everywhere on TV and the internet, as if they are almost trying to market it or something. And why is it always a guy of colour with a white woman? I have not seen one ad with a white guy and a woman of colour. I take that as a direct attack on me as a white guy, I feel they are trying to send me message of me being not good enough as a white man anymore, that I'm no longer wanted in this world. What the hell is wrong with wanting to preserve your race or culture through your children for example? Are they saying that everybody's children should be one colour and the whole world one race? Wouldn't The Lord God have created us like that then? Why are we different to begin with?

I'm sorry if I have offended anybody with my postings and if I've gone totally off track here, but this is part of the reason why I'm depressed in the first place, just all this acceptance the whole time. People attack you personally and then cover it in a cloak of normality and worldwide acceptance, to show you that you're the one that's insane. Basically, you're attacked but you're not allowed to do anything about it, you've just got to accept what they offer as the norm and conform to it, and I hate it. It's so subtle that most people don't even realize they are being attacked.

But, in a round about way, that is my point here. People all just say, "What, you're suicidal? There's definitely something wrong with you, bro! You've gotta go and see someone." Maybe I'm suicidal because I just can't take the lies that this world is telling anymore. Maybe I'm suicidal because of how this world has devalued me, making me no more than a number, a date of birth and death. My whole damn life can be summarized on a snotty little piece of paper - born so and so date, died so and so date, first name, last name, other names, son of X and Y, father of A and B. He is survived by C and D. There you go, that's you done, now you may leave... NEEEEXXXTT! I'm just so sick of it. What happened to seeking the truth? That's why, TJ, I think your idea is a good one. Somebody needs to ask the difficult questions for once. I believe suicidal and depressed people are the people who have seen the truth, that this world is actually not paradise, but hell. Other people just ignore you and say you're crazy, "You're too damn sad and depressed to think straight, you're bringing my mood and everybody else's down, get away from me". Now I also realize why I don't have any friends, they just don't want to hear what I bring to the table, because it means they might be wrong, and heaven forbid that!

I'm sorry to everyone for venting and ranting like this, but sometimes I just can't help but think, damn, not everything can be my fault. We get so used to blaming ourselves for everything that goes wrong. I think that's the major reason why people are suicidal - they just can't live with the thought of being a "downer" anymore.