I'm down to sleeping maybe 3 hrs with prn. I did well with all the guests and only flipped **** a couple of times. One was when I decided to not only pack for my visit to my mother in laws but use that time to sort and pack ALL of our clothes for moving. So needless to say my husband was not happy with sorting clothes at mid night when he had to start driving at 8 am but we finished it. I've also managed to stack over 400 Lego's in rows and pack them. yes, that is what I'm doing to quiet my brain.

I also talked to my friend who I completely alienated when paranoid. She completely understands I cant promise it wont happen again because she feels it's out of my control. Just that I need to try to give her a warning when things aren't going well. She said the only reason she walked away was to give me time to get my footing because having her there "conspiring" against me wouldn't have helped my paranoia or our relationship. I'm still paranoid but my husband isn't against me.

How do you know when you slip into mania? I wish I knew how to head this off better but I think I'm reaching the end of my coping mechanisms. I almost yelled at my father in law for trying to not let me carry a bag half my size and more than that weight. but I have to or i'll just pace.

Hope all is well here and know I miss you.