Quote:
Originally Posted by newgal2
I'm not quite sure why I don't find myself being apathetic. I really do care what goes on in my life and am scared that I won't return to my full functioning self. Maybe I'm not fully understanding how the apathy applies in your situation. Do you mean apathetic about whether your life ever changes (e.g., job) so that you are happier?
I just find myself angry at myself especially, and angry at other people too. I seem to find more fault with my husband lately because I find so much "fault" in myself with this depression lately. I just hate myself and my life, what I've become with this depression. So far from where I've been in the past and where I want to be in the future - - and soon!
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Thanks for asking for clarification...the apathy is really just a place where I end up when I'm tired of being angry at this depression. It is just that being angry at anything for so long is exhausting, so I find myself at this place of just saying "what's the point of all of it"...apathy about things I used to enjoy, apathy about sporting events, exercise, family, friends, the state of the world...
I, too, am light years from where I was and where I want to be. Apathy comes into play when I just feel like it takes to much energy to even care. By the way, the apathy seems to help, to a very small degree, because at least when I don't care then I'm not blaming myself and/or hating what I've become...