Thanks for asking for clarification...the apathy is really just a place where I end up when I'm tired of being angry at this depression. It is just that being angry at anything for so long is exhausting, so I find myself at this place of just saying "what's the point of all of it"...apathy about things I used to enjoy, apathy about sporting events, exercise, family, friends, the state of the world...

I, too, am light years from where I was and where I want to be. Apathy comes into play when I just feel like it takes to much energy to even care. By the way, the apathy seems to help, to a very small degree, because at least when I don't care then I'm not blaming myself and/or hating what I've become...