I hope you can find a way to accept that you are who you are, love yourself, and find the courage to take care of yourself.

One of the symptoms of depression is that people don't think clearly, see themselves in a negative light, and (speaking of your sleeping through) they tend to have low energy and sleep a lot.

Would you punish yourself for limping if you had a broken leg? If you were blind would you think yourself bad for not being able to see?

I think it's the same thing. You have a disease, and the bad thoughts you think are caused by that disease, not by same innate failure of you as a person. LOL! I can't tell you NOT to think bad thoughts, since I just said that that's what happens with depression, but I'm just hoping you can accept that THAT'S what it is, and use that for motivation to self care.