To be fair and responsible I should say to educate yourself. The long term adverse effects of AD's I don't think they really know. They haven't been out long enough or studied enough. The biggest problem as I see it is that some people, not all, have really bad withdrawal effects when they quit taking an AD and don't start taking another one.

In my view that is the most serious thing to worry about and not much else. I wouldn't worry about side effects. They are not known to cause any serious issues. If you have them and can't handle them you stop and try something else.

I have taken many different ones over the last twenty years and I don't feel they have harmed me at all except for one long term side effect I have had to live with.

You have to weigh the fact that you have been miserable for two years into the equation. If you find one that works for you then it is worth it in my view. Who wants to be miserable and have suicidal thoughts at your age. You need help.

Your decision should be an educated one and a balance of risks vs. benefits. Everything we do in life has risks. Going to school, driving a car, etc. Suicidal thoughts are a big risk.