I am sorry you are having to deal with an anniversary of a traumatic event. I know how it is to be triggered by a your T. I would suggest some grounding and meditation to help you find some peace within this hard time. Try not be to hard on yourself during this troubled time. I do not have much input because I am also in hard time but, I wanted to give you support and let you know you are not alone. Try to love yourself and take care of yourself.