|
May 13, 2014, 06:25 PM
|
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by gayleggg
She never let it hold her back. She continued working with swollen knees and hands that she could barely type with.
I don't know if this is really relative or not to your experience but you've got to find a way to come to peace with this diagnosis and what it entails. Therapy or journaling might help. Your anger will only make your body sicker. It takes up all the energy you need to deal with you current illness.
|
I know this. I know this is a truth, though it does help to have other people tell me, even if I know. A lot of things are like that, I find.
It's hard sometimes to bridge the gap between knowing something and being able to do something about it. Particularly with icky feelings. [BOO ICKY FEELINGS!!!]
I'm just not really sure how to go about it. I know that eventually I'll have this kind of tranquil zen-like "ok-ness" [ha] with all the stuff going on. I have that kind of thing about a lot of other things I'm dealing with already.
Like a long term card game of strategy.
You get dealt what you think might be a shoddy hand and get all pissy and belligerent at first.
However you can only see your cards, you don't know what anyone else is holding and there's a huge draw pile. If you think on it and play skillfully enough you can probably come out ahead or at least break even at some point.
Quote:
|
He would just keep saying "why you" I finally answered him back with "why not me".
|
Yeah... I get that, but I get the "why not me" thing. I don't really feel sorry for myself. I don't especially feel angry in that... like I feel like I've been cheated, exactly. I just feel this general anger that I keep trying and just when I think I am close to getting things down, some other part of my reality goes to hell. It's a lot to take on over and over and over.
Quote:
|
I just feel your anger so strongly and would like to say something really wise, but I don't have wise words. I would suggest if you are not in therapy that you find one that works specifically with anger.
|
You've been really helpful and I appreciate it.
It's just very difficult right now. I don't know how to talk to people about any of this. I feel like there is some kind of supposed ettiquette. I dont know what that is. And a lot of people aren't understanding what I'm feeling or experiencing even if I try to explain- because they already hav in their heads an idea of what I'm going through, and don't wish to deviate from that chosen perception... for some reason...
Actually, before I came back to look at this thread, I contacted a therapist I was seeing for a while, a couple years ago. Basically the only one in recent memory I actually liked. So, yeah I agree on the therapy thing.
|