Bluegirl1, The Skeezyks is absolutely correct! I was exactly where you are 2 yrs ago and I made that call to the suicide hotline. One call lead to another then before I knew it I was receiving the help that I so desperately needed. I do take antidepressants now and I see a therapist weekly and I can say I no longer feel trapped or stuck in a place that no one including myself could get me out of. You don't have to remain in darkness there is a lot of light available to you.