I think the best way for people to know that I am suicidal is if I begin to use words like Never or Always frequently. "Things never work out for me." "You always spend all our money." That is when my BPD takes the driver's seat and when I feel most hopeless because when "Never" and "Always" come up I feel I have no power to change my circumstance. The world and everything in it has control over me and i am being forced down a road I can't stand being on and there is nothing I can do about it. Of course that is a feeling carried over from childhood.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying