I don't know what is wrong with me ughh.. I have a decision to make and I keep going back and forth with what I want to do leaving me with making no decision at all. It's HELL for me to be in this position. My head is spinning and it is affecting every part of my life.

The decision is whether or not to move to another State. I grew up In MO and moved away years ago and swore I'd never move back but I did "last year" I moved to be around my family "this includes adult children and grandchildren". Since I've been here I've barely seen them and there's been a lot of drama with my daughter "she drinks and does drugs and is just a complete train wreck".. I've tried to be here for her and help her but she doesn't want help, she even punched me In the face a few months back when we had a fight.
Anyway.. I'm debating on leaving again. I don't like the weather here, I don't have much support with my 4 year old son who has autism and I really don't want to raise him in this community or environment that I currently live in. I don't want him around my adult daughters drama, or even going to school in this town when he starts kindergarten in August.

I'm torn because I feel guilty for wanting to leave my adult children and grandchildren again when I've been away most of their life already but I feel like I'm drowning here as well..