I wrote an email to my T saying that I think it was time for us to think about the local shrink ward I've been too several times. I admitted I'm not safe.

But also said in the email that I didn't think there was much they could do for me besides keep sharps away so I couldn't cut. Last time I was there one dr called me a liar about dissociating. They know nothing of PTSD. I imagine they know less of DID. That makes me very nervous. Can't tell you how many times they touched me! Working w/someone w/PTSD you never touch them! It just put me in freeze mode & hyper vigilant.

I also said it'd cause major issues at home if I was hospitalized. No childcare, angry H & a major mess in the schedule. All my fault.
So I can sit at home & be toxic to my family & be a ticking time bombs when I'm going to implode. So here I sit & wait.

She emailed me back & said "we'd follow basic protocol." I have no idea what that means.

I talked to a hotline person online & she said I lacked self confidence & hope. This was after she told me to find something I liked doing & keep doing it. Told her I have nothing. There's nothing I enjoy except sleeping.

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