Quote:
Originally Posted by Sky Blueblack
I don't think it is the man's fault if a relationship is failing and I don't think it is alright for a women to sleep with someone else either. A relationship is an equal thing imo.
I didn't say her weight gain is from low self esteem from the affair, I said low self esteem from being in an unhappy relationship.
This is you again saying bad things about your wife!! No wonder she doesn't take care of herself! Did you make an effort to tell her she was beautiful and support her and compliment her, when she was losing weight. And do you listen to her?! considering you went off and f*cked someone else, you don't sound like you are the one putting all the work in to try and make that better!!
You come here saying that you have problems in your marriage and you don't want to brake up the family and asking advice on how to make things better in your marriage and make your wife happy, then you would get my full compassion. But not "I screwed someone else" no sorry ! that is not a good person!
What you have done is paint a picture of your wife, calling her over weight, angry, shouty to her children, not taking proper care of herself (and just then) that she talks too much and doesn't listen. And made out like you are the model father and husband and that it was her fault that you went and betrayed her! Buls*it mate!
you are not assumed to be an asshole, you are being one and everyone can see it!! maybe you should start looking at what a bad husband and father you have been for the sake of getting your d*ck wet and you are still putting it all on her and are on here looking for people to agree that you are the poor victim!
Shame on you!
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So you assume I am a bad father then? I am a good father but I don't really feel the need to defend that to you. My relationship with my daughter's is enough in that respect.
I cheated. I admit that. Hell I had an affair for an extended period of time. I take full responsibility for that. It was my decision and therefore it sits on my shoulders but it happened and I can't take it back. It does nobody any good for you to berate me for it aside from making yourself feel morally superior. It really shouldn't take the focus off the fact we are trying to fix the marriage.
As a matter of fact I do tell her she is beautiful and sexy. I tell her she is a good mom and a good person. I do support her in every way that I can and should. I try and spend good quality time with her and we are great friends.
And for the record, all the things I have mentioned before - which you called badmouthing - she admits she needs to change and so does the counselor that we have seen. I am proud of her for making these changes as I know it is not easy and you find fault in my praise for her.
I was kind of tipped of to where you said that you would have had compassion for me but then you read I cheated so nope. Things aren't always that black and white. I cheated yes. What about all the times she screamed at me until 4 am because of absolutely nothing? What about the many times she has told me to go **** myself in front of the kids, family members hell the youth soccer teams I coach. Unfortunately I am very aware of the fact that me cheating has given her a free pass for life on any behavior. As I said I cheated and for the most part people just assume that I am the worst one in the relationship.
I'm not perfect by any means but I try hard to listen to her and to be the man she wants/needs and it really hasn't gotten me anywhere. I could have left or even just jumped from affair to affair but I haven't. I am trying my best to fix it but like I have said many times before. Is it worth fixing or is it just going to break again. I don't want to be fixing my marriage in my 50's.