Hey, softballjunkie8! Have you checked into the Anxiety forum here?

I really don't know what to say about those intrusive thoughts. But I am thinking it would be good to talk to a counselor about them. Are you a church person? If so, then maybe your pastor might have some ideas. But keep in mind that most pastors are not trained in therapy and you need someone who is. And maybe they wouldn't charge much if anything.

I remember seeing other people here with that issue, but I can't remember where.

Maybe if you post in another forum, such as Anxiety, then someone will at least know something about it. Okay?