If my Dad had gone and had an affair with another women when he had problems with my Mum, I wouldn't consider him a good father. Especially if my Mother was screaming at me and damaging my emotional security and upbringing and my Dad was off giving some other woman his love, when it was me that needed it! Not to mention the example set as to what is acceptable for a man to do and her standard being dropped as to what she will allow her future husband to do.

You are already back in contact with the affair. I say to have some self respect and actually end the relationship or work at it, depending on what you decide is best for you, but don't disrespect your family again by carelessly going down the same road again.

I am not taking the moral high ground, I have not been faithful to every one of my partners - but I grew up and realised I didn't want to be that person. I have also been hurt in that way myself and felt that they should of had the balls to leave and not try and have their cake and eat it too!

I am being moral advocate here as you seem to portray yourself as the good person here, but if you are such a wonderful husband, why is your wife so unhappy? and would you be so quick to paint her the victim (as you have appeared to do about you) if it was the other way round?