I am now back home from the hospital, and sitting here in my lounge, listening to familiar noises, appreciating all of this rather than the drama and commotion from fellow patients.

My stay achieved the main thing of keeping me safe when I couldn't, but other than that I got nothing out of it. They haven't changed my medication because I was adamant on leaving today (I have an exam tomorrow! ) and so they wouldn't be able to keep an eye on things and see how I go. I just have to hope my own useless pdoc will see fit to change something, because clearly something isn't right.

I feel calmer for now, and not at risk, I'm not gonna trick myself into thinking I'm over it because I know I'm far from it. I just have to take one day at a time and hopefully learn from my mistakes this time and tell someone before it is too late....

Thank you everyone here, you've all been so supportive and lovely means a lot!

I'm just glad to be home