Newtus I hope things go better for you just try to relax.I don't honestly think with all of these mixed up emotions about this T that it's a good idea to go see her. How are you going to open up and talk to her if you're so afraid of her sending you back to the hospital? I think that's what Sp meant by learning the hard way? If you are so paranoid about her sending the police after you or being put back in a hospital it might be a bad idea...plus with all those mixed up feelings you have for her it might make things very hard on you trying to form a good Patient to Therapist relationship. But regardless of what I think, You really need to do what YOU think is best for you. Remember to base your decision on past experiences and what you really feel deep down is the best thing for you. And remember if it doesn't go well you don't have to keep seeing her.