She doesn't hate you. I think she's playing games with you, trying to undermine your authority and it's working and she's got you eating out of the palm of her hand.
Be firm with her-punish her when she rolls her eyes at you or tries to discipline you (? what's that all about? She's 10 years old-YOU'RE THE AUTHORITY FIGURE-NOT HER)-make her clean the bathroom and don't let her use the computer, go out or watch tv until it's done and it's done well whenever she behaves that way.
DO NOT COO HER!
When she butts into you and your husband's relationship-again, tell her to go busy herself with a chore and the same rules apply until it's done and done well. She's got a lot of gall doing that to you.
Let her know that you love her but do not let her get away with this because otherwise this acting up is only going to increase and get worst as she hits the teenage years and then you'll have a really big problem on your hands.