Thanks, OpenEyes.

Yeah, the fake it until you make it sounds about right to me.

However, I think it´s a strange way of dealing with depression after you have lost someone.

And it´s the opposite of what I have learned with my treatment with anorexia,
in which my main focus and main thing that I learned and found important was that it was "OKAY" to feel bad sometimes and it was "OKAY" to be sad
and that it was okay to cry and that all those feelings need to be expressed and talked about, because that´s really what people with eating disorders do, they
try to make the bad feelings go away by suppressing them by focusing on dieting etc.
I needed to be myself and when I felt very bad, I didn´t need her to shake me and demand that I put on a smile and don´t "let myself hang down",when I fake smiled, it only made me feel WORSE.

I still believe, that the way out of depression is not to overlook all the trouble and sad feelings you have, but to express your grief, so at some point you can move on, because you´re really ready, everything is processed and you have really found peace with it. Not because you´re telling yourself: must think positive thoughts.

Well, the pregnancy is only recently a topic, but the change happened before that, so that can´t be it.

Yes, I´m thinking the same thing, that she was experimenting with boundary setting and that´s a good thing, setting healthy boundaries.

However, I´m not our mother. We had a good relationship. Yet, she didn´t want to see me anymore, even though she never admitted it. And it really hurt, naturally. I was always the one asking if she wanted to meet up, and often she didn´t "have time". The worst part really was, that a LOT of times, we had plans to meet up (which wasn´t often anyway) she´d cancel in the last minute for dumb reasons. Sometimes she´d just send me a text message 5 minutes after we were supposed to meet with not very good excuses...
I was in a very bad, weak place then myself, so naturally this made me feel not very good.

I´m all for healthy boundaries, but I think this kind of behavior is taking it too far and is kind of stepping on MY boundaries.

Yes, you need to take care of your needs, but you cannot do that my stepping on the ones of others, in my opinion.

Looking back, I feel that this could be some sort of power thing.
I heard that´s also a reason why people can be late all the time.
Maybe she felt like she needed to take her power back and I was very weak and vulnerable at that time and she knew I wouldn´t call on her for a behavior like that.

"You have tried to talk to her and she is resisting that, so while this is hard perhaps you should just do your best to give her some space and see what happens."

Well, yes, it´s what I did eventually. We´re talking about something that was a while ago now.

At some point I was sick of always being the one asking her to meet up, and her either saying no, being late or canceling all the time, and when we did meet up her saying something like "ok, well, i´m home then anyway, so you can come over".

So I said, let´s just write to eachother for some time. We did that a few months.
I haven´t seen or written to her in over a year now.

I never regretted this, I made a lot of progress for myself when I decided this.

I feel that I still haven´t made total peace with it though, with the loss of her and that I need to, to really focus on my own life now, so it´s why I decided to ask for people´s opinions here.