Have written a pretty damning letter for my gp to read. Ashamed of some of the things I've written... but it's right to feel ashamed, right to show someone how pathetic I've been.

Detaching for a moment, I do wonder if this has anything to do with the increase in my meds? Along with other stresses, triggers and just general crap.

Guy I work with asked me if I was ok today... said that I looked pretty 'intense'. He's one of the few that knows anything about what I've been dealing with... just told him that I was sorry, dealing with a lot of anger at the moment (self directed), that I didn't mean for it to be apparent as I know he has the anniversary of his dad's death coming up (both our dads died within 6 days of each other 6 years back... was not the best month for us)... just trying to deal with this and get on with things... that not to mind me if I was being quiet.