I see what you mean about the "authentic" part. But I have been in that place myself, and I could not be the "authentic" my sister needed from me either. I could not be "authentic" at all because I was struggling too much and doing my best to distance while I worked on myself in therapy. What my sister considered "authentic" for me was not any place I could go Alisha, because it only pulled me into dysfunctional thinking and
role playing that just was not good for me. My sister only knows me from her POV, and that really is not "me" at all it's just how I tried to be the "me" she needed me to be when it came to me being in "her" world. I don't want her to tell me what to do or what I do that is wrong or to direct me "her way" anymore. I need to distance and see things for "myself" for a change.

That is why many people finally break all ties to their families because they realize that they just need to develop their "own" life and identity
and not fall into the identity they had in the family dysfunction. It depends on the family and how challenged a person is. I had to distance
because of how my parents are older and struggling and my sister went into high gear in her controlling mode. It has been very hard for me because I don't agree with her bossiness with my parents and I know it
tires my mother out and she even cries after my sister leaves.

I just got to manage it so I got to have my parents to myself on mother's day for the first time ever actually. It was very hard on me because of how my sister just "had to" call and give me instructions like I was a babysitter. My parents going out with me and being away from Martha
Stewart, was extremely refreshing for both of them, they actually got to relax, be themselves and not feel rushed or controlled. It was as though
we all got to "break out of jail" for a change and it was nice, but also sad too.

OE