I guess it all depends on perspective. I personally have always focussed on pleasuring my partners, be it men or women, before myself. I can, with little difficulty, stop intercourse after my partner orgasms without actually orgasming myself. It is always a nice conclusion if both partners orgasm at the same time, or just both orgasm.

Right now with the problems I'm having with the loss of sensation to my genitals, I am trying to deal with an inability to orgasm due to lack of feeling. However, I am more than willing to pleasure my wife orally, manually or with toys to make her satisfied. Unfortunately, she doesn't want have sex at all because she doesn't want me to me sad and disappointed by not having an orgasm. Now, on top of not being able to orgasm, I can't even get the pleasure from pleasuring her! For gods sake woman, be selfish and let me get you off!!!