Hi, twin0p, and welcome to Psych Central! I have bipolar as well, and I have been married to a wonderful guy for over 25 years, so it can be done. That said, he is very patient, and I take medication and see a therapist regularly.

You sound like you are having some insight into your behavior, which is good. I am thinking maybe your PTSD might be somehow related, too, but I can't say that for sure.

And your past bad relationships are also playing a role.

I encourage you to talk to a therapist about this situation, if you aren't already in therapy--and maybe stay in therapy while you and this man are in a relationship. I find talking to someone helps me with my stress and that helps me to be less likely to lash out and maybe head into another depressive or manic state.